'Nobel-er' Intentions? Donald Trump wants peace in Ukraine – so he can go to heaven

President Trump, twice impeached, once convicted, and forever a master of spectacle, wants to end the war in Ukraine because he wants to go to heaven."I want to try and get to heaven, if possible," he said on live television. "I'm hearing I'm not doing well. I'm really at the bottom of the totem pole."With that, the most powerful man on Earth confessed that even he was afraid of the next world. Trump was not playing 4D chess. He was bargaining with God.​